The Frame Machine

So what ever happened to our immaginations. When we were children it was all about the little things we loved at the time. Envisioning piloting a robot. Being a superhero. Being a kung fu master. Envisioning the vastness of the world you stood on.

But then we grew older and we started imagining the future. What the next day would hold, and that was exciting. Highschool ahead, a whole lifetime of play left, plaground time, recess. 15 min. or 40 min. or on those extra special days (insert #). We lived for somthing, we lived life to the fullest. School was fun, though no one ever admitted it. It was a place to be free w/ friends, and explore our own minds and grow.

Then we came to highschool. grade 9. I am afeared I asure you. Meeting new people, still not completly sure who you are, but want to get to know yourself better through new people, and growning (I seem to have a main word, or thesaurased version of a word for the blogs I write, I wonder if anyone else notices that) with your friends that stuck with you to this new plataue.

Then the *blank* starts. You start losing friends, some reasons are good, sometimes you just drift. You lose part of yourself trying to find a new you, an older you, a more matures you. Wow I'm going off topic of imagination. Well going back to grade 9. You immagin all the fun times your going to have w/ all these new people. all the fun times w/ your old and new friends, all the possiblities we had in front of us. We could actully be the things we really wanted to be if we truely belived.



So back to the *blank*, we start immagining the worst in life, the worst in people, though we still believe in goodness (well most of us) in the world, we immagine the hard trek ahead, the crap we have to face, the bullshit that has effected our lives, and made us feel down, the fake love, the fake crushes, the mirages of bullshit immagination we make oursleves belive are true, but not things that would bring us true happiness, not the things we dreamed of when we were younger. We think of the shit in our world, we stop believing half of the time.
The times we have that are happy we thank God for, but then so quickly forget, as we have forgetten the innocent days. We lose sight of what is immportant to us, even though we try so hard. and then all the blanks we try to fill in with our immagination. our STAINED immagination. Our black immagination. WE start to TRULY see things that arn't real. WE KILL OURSELVES thinking of, and making up the pages we're missing.

I'm at a blank right now, but there is so much more, so to be continued.
Though at the end of this I was going to say to be continued anways cause we arn't done living yet are we.

(So without further ado)

To be continued....

P.s. I still think that we all have a little bit of kid left in us, wanting/immagining/(hopfully)striving to be somthing more then we are.
I wanna be captain america. (except canadian, but that dosn't sound as cool)

I think my summers at home make me numb in the head, if it weren't for this computer I believe I would forget how to speak and think at all. Or of course that would free me and I would have a better more fulfilled summer, cause so far its sucked, other then... uhh yeah know.

You ever have people you expect so much from, that when it actually gets down to it they let you down, but only because you set your standards so high in the first place? Its even worse when its a friend, isn't it?

Oh and an extension of that , putting myself out there: when you built up a pursona of someone you have a like on that you actually fall for the person, but not the actual person but the being you have concocted in your mind. and even further,(this part is for every kind of relationship not just the crush kind) you want to get to know the person, but since the person is built so high up in your head that you can't approch the person very easily if at all, and makes you afraid to bring your relationship further. Wow I've always wanted to have this convo with someone, but it really is almost an impossible topic to set the stage for. On that note, I've said to much and will now conclude.

It feels like its just me but it always seems to happen that other people seem have the same thoughts. Heres hopein' Cheers.